When we tell the stories of foster families, sometimes it is easy to turn the spotlight away from the pain that biological parents feel when their parental rights are at risk of termination. Many roads lead to the court reaching this decision, but it is important to remember that this traumatic event has many angles and considerations.
Such is the experience of the Ferguson family, who have three foster children. During more stable times in the biological mom’s life, the kids have enjoyed visits with her alongside their foster mom. Unfortunately, the court has moved closer to a decision to terminate parental rights entirely. Visitation rights were at risk, too, due to the biological parents failing to be present for scheduled visits. The foster parents are working closely with the children’s treatment team to move toward the final good-bye, and they are doing all they can to try and give the kids a sense of security and normalcy through so many confusing emotions. Throughout the ups and downs, Fostering Hope volunteers were there to provide transportation for all scheduled visits.
At one visitation, a biological parent became aggressive and angry toward the court’s visitation staff. When the Fergusons called the Fostering Hope volunteer who was picking up the children, the volunteer calmly explained the situation to the foster mom, that she was already there with the kids, and that they were safe.
These volunteers providing transportation to visitations weren’t only impacting the day-to-day aspects of caring for these children, like logistics and planning. They could use that time in the car to help the kids decompress following intense visits and help them feel heard after experiencing some big feelings. These volunteers protect, understand, and love this family’s complex needs on any given day. Too, they are consistent. A consistent presence in a foster family’s life builds trust and safety among both foster parents and children. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, these volunteers are trusted adults who the foster parents can feel confident and comfortable with, ultimately leading to longer and more successful placements.
Names have been changed to protect identities.